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THE 21ST CENTURY MAN

Modern men know all about body language, signals, techniques and steps to take to give an
impression. We grew up with it; most of us are fed up with it.

Any half decent salesman would have been schooled on day one, week one to recognise the good
non verbal signs for closing a deal. Every Employer, Manager or Supervisor who has ever conducted
an interview is aware of what to look for. School teachers, sports coaches, recruitment personnel,
medical professionals are all taught - thoroughly - about this stuff.

Then there's the advanced use of the "science".
Every member of the police service, every detective, security guard
or benefit fraud investigator attends courses on the subject of body language.

Every member of the military forces concerned with the gathering of information and with observation
tasks (which is pretty much all of them at some point) attends courses on the subject.

A lot of these men attend exacting training courses in using body language and other non verbal
means of communication in order to deceive. In other words; to give a deliberately incorrect message
to an observer.

How likely is it, do you think, that you'll meet a man over the age of thirty these days who does not
know about non verbal signals and body language?

How likely is it, do you think, that you'll meet a man who has not used these techniques to earn a
living? Possibly in an hostile environment?

Not very? Yes, I agree.

Why then, I ask, do so many women in the 21st Century still try to use such techniques?
It's crass and embarrassing.

It's OK, if you just want a fast sexual encounter I suppose,
but to us it's the equivalent of a guy approaching you and telling you to
"get your coat 'cos you've pulled!"

Would you be receptive to an approach like that?
Would you respond favourably to a guy who said that to you on a first date?

What makes you think that a forty five year old, self employed, single male would appreciate his
personal space being invaded by a woman who then tries to pick imaginary fluff from his jacket? What
makes you think that any professional male between the ages of 30 and 55 would be receptive to that?

It worked fine on my dad, fifty odd years ago.
Actually it probably would still work fine on him!
He's 71 with all his own hair and teeth, in case you're interested.
(just email me, OK?)

Seriously, I have to tell you that non verbal methods of letting modern man know that you are
available and interested are actually a big turn off and slightly insulting to the intelligence now.

21st Century Man

Authors note:

I hope that you enjoy reading this ebook. More importantly, I hope that you will
make good use of it - even the bits that you might disagree with!

Our new technological, modern, "disposable" age provides us all with a
multitude of available choices in just about every area of life. Some of this is
good. Some of it is not so good.

Modern man has had to evolve in order to survive and to make his way
successfully through life. He has had to become more intelligent and more
communicative in order to progress, not just in his chosen profession, but in
every facet of modern living.

This evolution has, inevitably, brought consequences and these
consequences have had a profound effect on a womans interaction with
modern man. Sorry!

Insensitive man is gone. The good looking, but not very socially adept male
(and therefore easy pickings) is also history. Extinct.

Gone are the days when a woman could employ a tactile approach, some make
up, the odd feminine lure and expect to land a good "catch".

The techniques your mother might have told you, or that proved successful
when you were in your early twenties just don't work anymore. Worse; they
actually repel modern man.

Not good news?

Hopefully this ebook is! Thank you again for your purchase and good hunting.

So what does work?

The best thing to do is also the most scariest; according to my female
sources and to testimonials from ladies who have
purchased this ebook before you.

The best thing to do is talk straight.

Straight talking works!

It goes like this:- TELL HIM! USE WORDS! SPEAK! SAY IT!

Doing this will work whether you have initiated the approach or he has.
For the moment, just get your head around this.
It's important - you have to speak and you have to use words.
Modern man has zero tolerance for signs and signals that women drop.

Modern man knows that the same 'signal' can be dropped on his lap by ten different women and on
each occasion it will mean something different - depending upon the women's moods at the time.

So, modern men do not like subtle, they do not like ambiguity,
they do not like anything that can have more than one meaning or interpretation.
Or anything that can mean one thing now,
but then later - when it suits the woman - can mean something else entirely.

Do this one, by the way and you will probably be dumped for sure!
You will definitely have harmed your relationship
and diminished your man's respect and affection for you.

We like you to tell us how it is, without dressing it up or down.
Tell the truth at the outset and expect to be held accountable for it;
because you most certainly will be!

We like you to say what you mean and to mean what you say.
In fact, we don't really like anything else.
If you go to a foreign country you will get on much better if you speak to the people in their language
rather than in yours, right!?

So, modern man's language!
It's not hard; just speak the words, be clear, be forthright
and have no hidden meanings.

Being bold and honest about what you want or do not want will get you the respect from a man that
every woman demands and you will get it immediately.

Behaviour; how a woman conducts herself, is the number one factor in determining my and most
modern men's level of attraction to a woman.

Looks are of course important, there needs to be physical attraction otherwise what is the point?
However, modern man will favour a Plain-Jane who speaks out, means what she says and can be relied
upon to conduct herself with grace and dignity, over a stunningly beautiful woman who expects him to
read her mind, punishes him when he doesn't and has the occasional fit of histrionics.

Talk straight and behave fairly and decently and your man will value you over all others.
Don't do this and he will dump you in a heartbeat.

Either that or he will keep you around as a sexual partner until he finds someone else who is not so
difficult to get on with, someone who is not such hard work.

Sorry, but that is exactly how a woman who does not talk straight and behave fairly is viewed!
She is viewed as hard work. Modern man will be very quick to question whether what he gets from the
relationship is worth the aggravation caused (to him) by a contentious woman.

So, if you don't like a particular aspect of your newest beau,
then the best thing that you could do is tell him!
The worst thing that you could do is privately hope or believe
that you can change that aspect over time.

If you tell him, you give him choice
and he will most likely choose to change that bit of himself in order to stay with you.
If he doesn't choose to change,
then nothing that you would ever have done over time would have worked.

By talking straight at the outset though,
you will earn his respect and you will probably get just what you want.

Worst case scenario; if he doesn't want to change, by talking straight, you will have saved both of you
from having to go through the recriminations of a relationship which was doomed from the start
because of the incompatibility.

Be aware that if, at the outset of a relationship, you state that you will do something, or that you will
accept something, then you must do it and accept it.
Why?
Because he will have trusted and believed and banked upon you doing it and it will also have become
a condition of the relationship. Yes, a condition!

The establishing of a relationship is like negotiating a deal and however distasteful and unromantic it
may seem to you, that is exactly how it is viewed by modern man.
Consequently you must be careful about what you say to begin with
and careful about what you really mean when you say it.

Don't tell him that you love climbing and then moan
when he wants to go climbing three weekends a month in the summer!
Don't, for example, tell him you love sailing if you've never been on a boat; instead tell him that the
thought of going sailing is exciting (or whatever). Get the idea?

This works both ways too.
Don't tell him that you are happy about something that he does
when you are definitely not happy about it either!

If you consider it inappropriate for him to continue having Sunday lunches with his ex wife
'because of the kids', for example, then say so. Loud and clear.
Give him choice.
If you do not state such things early on,
they will just fester and resentment will grow and the relationship will die.
It will die, not because he kept doing something you hated; but because you never told him you hated it
and you never gave him the opportunity to do something about it. TALK STRAIGHT.

When things change, as they do over time, then a renegotiation must be conducted.
For example; "I know that I said when we met that I don't mind you having drinks after work with the
girls from the office, but now that I have stronger feelings for you, I find that I do mind. I would rather
you didn't do that now, or that you consider taking me along with you now please."

That's good, that will work. It's straight and it's honest and it provides choice. A modern man would
know exactly why you want to be there; you would not have to justify it or explain it.
I can tell you now that 90% of the time that you provide choice you will get what you want.
There is no way that I would refuse such an endearing request, by the way!

If, however, you come at a man in such a way that all choice is removed, then he will never do what you
want - even if he was going to do it the next day anyway

The effect that spoken words can have can be profound.
What the majority of women fail to realise is the absoluteness of the spoken word to men.

Modern men still do their thinking alone and in silence, they will decide on something, then they will
decide whether or not they are going to speak about what it is that they have decided
and then - only then - will they speak about their decision! Maybe.

Women very often do their thinking 'out loud'.
In other words they speak as they are forming an opinion or making a decision
and they very often immediately forget the words that they have spoken.
Not surprising, since the words were merely tools that enabled them to formulate
their thought and arrive at where they wanted to be mentally.

This works very well within a group of women,
all of whom pick up on and add to the verbalised thought process that is going on.
Indeed, this is an enriching experience for all involved and brings women closer together.
Once the process is concluded, every woman involved is on the same wavelength and all walk away
from the encounter with the essence and gist of the communication shared.
Again, the words used to arrive there are irrelevant for them.

However, if you do this in front of your man then do not be surprised if he remembers every word that
you used and the way that you used them and the context in which you used them. Do not be surprised
if he tries to hold you accountable for these words - which you don't even remember speaking!

Probably best not to do your thinking out loud around modern man, ladies.
It's not a 'no-no', but unless your man is aware of what you are doing
it could lead to unnecessary communication problems.

Men are very literal. Because men, even modern men, do not speak very much,
every word that is spoken has meaning. It would not have been spoken if it didn't.
If your man delivers a sentence to you with ten words in it,
then please be aware that you are supposed to take notice of all ten words.

You are not supposed to just latch onto three of them,
disregard the rest and think you understand what he was trying to tell you!

I hope that doesn't sound too harsh. It is food for thought.

This is the one thing, by the way, that you can do that will set you apart from all the
others and have him calling you right away!
State clearly and without ambiguity what it is that you would like, or just that you are
definitely interested. State it.

Here's a quick example for you;

My friend Mike was approached, years ago,
by a work colleague called Francine.
She had been attracted to Mike for a long time,
he was aware of this but would never enter into a relationship
with someone that he worked with.
He would not let anyone at work know his personal circumstances either.

Don't know why; that was just his rule.
Anyway, Francine asked him if he had a girlfriend, fiancee, partner, wife.
When Mike asked her why she wanted to know
(despite the fact that she wanted to run away - she later confessed to me),
she boldly stated that she wanted to know because she was attracted to him.
She went on to say that she would be very disappointed
if it turned out that he was already in a relationship.

Now, there is not a man alive (in my opinion)
who would not be impressed by this.
This behaviour commands respect from us and is more of a
head turner than anything else.

Yes, we do like to see a fit female form walking by,
but forthright behaviour is what really attracts.
Conversely, the dropping of hints, signals etc is really irritating and a big turn off!

Mike married Francine because any time that she wanted him to know something she told him.
Straight. With no hidden meanings.
This behaviour promoted trust and once she had his trust, she had him. Forever.

Yes, Mike and Francine are married now,
they have three children and live ecstatically (their word) together in Poole.

Mike had told Francine that he was not seeing anyone, but that he would never become
romantically involved with a work colleague, so she wrote out a resignation for herself on the
spot and then asked him for a date in fifteen days time - she had to give two weeks notice.

Mike is a really decent man, highly principled and, of course,
he could not let her quit her job and he was also so blown away by her approach
that he wanted to learn more about her.
He was so impressed with her forthright behaviour that he broke his rule
and everyone at work turned up for the wedding just over a year later.

I would like to emphasise the behaviour aspect
because Mike did not really find Francine to be physically attractive back then.
Not that she was ugly, she was just not his type (as he put it).
He can't keep his hands off her now and it is a joy to see two people so happy together.

Dave, a modern man and my friend,
noticed that the bathroom tap was dripping
and he made a mental note to change the washer that evening.

Joan, his wife, tackled him about it before he went to work;
'the bathroom tap needs a new washer!' she said.

I know this because he told me.
I also know that he stewed on it all day long at work.
His mind was not on what he was doing because he was so furious.
Furious that she spoke to him like that
and furious that he did not hit back with a suitable retort.

They actually divorced over it much later,
it proved to be a catalyst for him and motivated him to separate from her and move on.

He did not fix the washer that evening; deliberately.
The next day she said the same thing; 'Dave! The tap needs a new washer!' Again he deliberately
did not change that washer. (yes, I know; petty stuff!)

It became a clash of wills, though and he was so sick of the way that she spoke to him that there
was no way he would ever change that washer.
After three days of this, she finally demanded;
' why won't you change the washer?'
To which he replied; ' you have never asked me!'.

I have told this story to many women over the years, usually as an humourous anecdote, almost
every one of them thought the man was being ridiculous.

Every man that I ever told the story to, however, approved wholeheartedly of Dave's attitude and
actually thought that the way he dealt with being spoken to like that was absolutely brilliant.

So, you may not like it or agree with it, but this is how we are nowadays. Be nice, we are people
too. You do not just have to use bad language in order to verbally abuse someone! Personally I
have never understood why a woman, who purports to love and care for a man, would fail to treat
him as though he was someone that she loved and cared for! It is just beyond comprehension. I
cherish those I care for - at all times! Shame it has not always been reciprocated though.

A BRIEF SUMMARY SO FAR

To attract modern man then, do not bother with signals. Do not drop lures or signs or attempt any
non-verbal means of communication; leave that stuff for teenage girls. Modern men have no time for
it, it is irritating, embarrassing to behold (cringe worthy!) and too easily misinterpreted. Do not do it if
you wish to attract a grown up.

To attract modern man you merely have to talk straight. That's it. Say what you really mean and really
mean what you say. Doing this promotes trust. Consistently doing this keeps that trust. If you have
the courage to tell it how it is and he finds you attractive, then you have got him! I mean it.

As things progress, you should recognise the value (pure gold value!) of providing choice. It's about
behaving fairly really. Be fair, be reasonable and provide choice and you will never lose your man.

You should also recognise just how very very dangerous it is to deny that choice. When you think
about it, the removal of choice is nothing less than blackmailing your man. All of the men that I know
will end the relationship before they will be coerced into something - even if they intended to do that
something anyway. You may not like this, you may think it is silly, but please do not take this lightly. It
is a real fact and a major reason for break ups. Freedom and specifically freedom of choice is as
important to men as, say, having children is to women. Modern man will put his personal freedom, his
ability and right to choose, before his children, by the way.

This is not to say that he is an unfeeling brute where children are concerned, rather it is to illustrate
the supreme importance that he places upon being able to choose for himself. Deny it at your peril!

If you truly care for and love a man, should you not behave towards him and speak to him as though
he is someone that you care for and love? Should you not do this all the time?

If you spoke to a man as though he was a piece of dirt on your first or second date, would you expect
to see him again? No, of course not, but then you wouldn't do that on a date would you?! What, do you
think, makes it acceptable then to speak to a man as if he is a piece of dirt later on in the relationship?

Don't do it please, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to talk to someone you supposedly love
in such an obscene way. Any feelings of affection that he has for you will just be eroded away. You
will lose him eventually, this only damages relationships and people.

CONCLUSION

You see a man that you find attractive and you would like to spend some time trying to get to know him
in order to find out if you like each other and maybe are compatible for a relationship. You do not
know if he is available or even interested.

The best thing that you can do these days, believe me, is to approach the man and speak to him.

Do not, please, drop signs and signals. As I said earlier; these things just do not work. Worse they
have the opposite effect to what you intend. Hard as it is to accept, scary as it might be to do; the only
certain way of getting your pure intention and non misconstrued message across nowadays is to talk
straight. Just talk straight.

Remember; saying what you mean and meaning what you say promotes trust and reliability in you (from
a modern mans point of view).

Consistently doing this sets you apart from other women and makes you valued.

This sort of behaviour is attractive, compelling and will have the man calling you right away!

A relationship is a deal. It is! It should be regarded as one by you, because it is by modern man. He
does not have to hang around in a loveless marriage these days, because of social stigma and family
disapproval. He does not have to tolerate verbal or emotional abuse. He does not have to run off to
the potting-shed to avoid conflict. He is not his Father; broken and emasculated for the sake of the
kids and an easy life. Modern man can (and will in a heartbeat) vote with his feet and disappear!

Modern man knows that he does not have to tolerate anything that is not right for him, that means that
you must maintain the behaviour that won you his heart if you wish to keep him. I personally think that
that is fair and exactly how it should be!

Contrary to popular belief, modern man seeks and wants only ONE woman. He does not want to go
from relationship to relationship; moving on each time her standards of behaviour and conduct are
lowered because she thinks she's got him and doesn't have to try anymore.

So, it is a deal. Like it or not, it's how it is and, like all deals, when situations and circumstances change
so the deal must be renegotiated. A relationship with a modern man will have to be constantly
renegotiated over the years. Straight talking is the key.

Straight talking in conjunction with the complete abandonment of your fear. Please please believe me
when I tell you that by straight talking you have less, far less, to fear. Straight talking is the key!

Assumption; don't do it. Don't speculate. If you want to know something - ask!

If something bothers you - bring it up. Bring it up right there and right then.

Do not store it for a future day when you can employ it as a weapon when the mood suits. You will
damage, if not destroy, your relationship if you do that. You will lose respect and trust from your man.
He will leave you if you do that.

Choice; none of us is perfect. Modern man will inevitably do something wrong in your eyes. His
heinous crime may well deserve the harshest punishment that you can imagine, but .... what if you are
wrong? What if he is not guilty? What if his secrecy lately has been a result of the surprise party for
you that he has been organising?

Go easy on your man until you have heard his side. Give him choice; allow him the opportunity to
explain to you, to justify to you or to apologise to you. Play fair.

When you have feelings for him, when you love him; act like it. Act like it all the time. All the time.

I hope that you have found this informative and I wish you well in love and in life.

Robert Stein

To quote a friend of mine recently:

"The woman that I want to share it with (his life) will be conscious of the
effect that spoken words can have - and she will act accordingly.

She will not assume, or speculate in the absence of information - she will ask!
She won't silently gather 'things' as ammunition for a future argument.

She won't store things that don't 'add up' in her mind until she bursts;
so that she vents in a shocking and suprising way - she will ask!

She will bloody well bring it up at the moment of discovery and she will ask;
then she will listen to the answer!

She will know that how someone looks means very little to me
when compared to how she behaves towards me.

She will know that the place to lose control of her emotions,
to give them free reign, is the bedroom when I am there.
It could be the kitchen or anywhere she likes, actually.
Under such circumstances, she could lose control of her emotions
as many times a day as she wants.

She will also know, though, that to lose control, to work herself up,
to make assumptions and to speculate without evidence is to lose me.
Whether it is a week down the line, a year, ten years, married with children or not;
she will know that if she does that then I am gone.
Regardless of the fallout or the consequences.

I could change, I could change to accomodate someone.
Long ago I acknowledged this possibility within myself.
I am able to compromise. I could provide lengthy explanations, every five minutes,
for every choice I take or action I make in order
to ensure that I am not the victim of female assumption.

Why should I have to though?
Why should my life be micro-managed or overseen for approval?
Why should I have to constantly take steps to prevent myself from being the victim
of a judgement which has been formed because of an assumption?
Why can I not be treated the way in which I want to be treated?

When all is said and done, all I actually want is common courtesy, consideration and fairness.

The qualities I seek in a woman seem to be so rare nowadays, though,
that I doubt I shall ever find one that I can relax with and give completely to.
Yet the qualities I seek are really not a tall order and looks don't even come into it."

This is part of a transcript of a telephone interview between Cheryl Darvill, the
Manager of sailmatch.com and Robert Stein, the author of 21st Century Man.

Interview transcript:-

Do modern men like to be approached by a female, Rob?

YES, PROBABLY ABOUT 90% DO. THESE DAYS, WHY NOT?
SURPRISINGLY, QUITE A LOT OF MEN, AT LEAST HALF, ARE CONCERNED ABOUT
HUMILIATION AND POSSIBLE REJECTION AND SO WILL NOT RISK APPROACHING A
WOMAN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER. THEREFORE, FOR THEM, BEING
APPROACHED WOULD BE A GOOD THING.

Do some modern men prefer to approach a female?

GENERALLY, YES.
THEY ALSO EXPECT HER TO EXCUSE HERSELF FROM HER GROUP IF A MAN MAKES THE
EFFORT. BY EXCUSE, I MEAN THAT SHE SHOULD PHYSICALLY TAKE TWO STEPS. OR
STAND UP FROM HER GROUP AT THE TABLE AND TAKE TWO STEPS. NOT RUN OFF TO
THE BAR OR A DARK CORNER WITH HIM, BUT ACTUALLY STEP AWAY FROM HER GROUP.
THIS SHOWS THE GROUP THAT SHE WANTS AND EXPECTS PRIVACY AND NOT MOCKERY
- HOWEVER WELL INTENTIONED OR FUN.
THIS SHOULD BE DONE EVEN IF SHE IS NOT INTERESTED. A QUIETLY SPOKEN PHRASE
SUCH AS; " I'M FLATTERED, THANK YOU, BUT NO I'M NOT INTERESTED" WILL BE MUCH
MORE ACCEPTABLE AND DEFINITELY RESPECTED IF IT IS DELIVERED ONE ON ONE,
RATHER THAN SQUAWKED ACROSS A TABLE AMIDST SMIRKS FROM HER FRIENDS.
THAT IS ACTUALLY ASKING FOR TROUBLE, BY THE WAY!
I DEFINITELY DO PREFER TO APPROACH A FEMALE, BUT I WILL HAVE CONDUCTED SOME
RESEARCH FIRST AND FOUND OUT ABOUT HER BEFORE DOING SO.
BY THE WAY, YOU REDUCE YOUR CHANCES OF BEING APPROACHED IF YOU ARE OUT
WITH A GROUP.

When having a conversation with a male on a first date what should we talk about?

WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU HAVE IN COMMON, OR ELSE WHATEVER IT WAS THAT
MOTIVATED YOU TO COME ON THIS DATE WITH HIM; PLUS ANY FUNNY ANECDOTE THAT
IS RELEVANT TO EITHER OF THESE.
FOR EXAMPLE; "I NEARLY TURNED UP BAREFOOT BECAUSE THE DOG BURIED MY GUCCI
SANDALS AGAIN!"
SOMETHING LIKE THAT IS FUN AND RELAXING AND DOESN'T ACTUALLY HAVE TO BE
TRUE TO BE AMUSING.
YOU SHOULD ALSO STATE WHAT YOU WANT! WHY ARE YOU ON THE DATE?
TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT. DO NOT TELL HIM WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT!!!!! DO NOT RUN
THIS INTO A DIATRIBE OF ALL THE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT MEN - PUNCTUATED
WITH EXAMPLES ABOUT YOUR EXES - DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR EXES!
MEN JUST DO NOT WANT TO KNOW. EXES IS SOMETHING THAT WOMEN ARE INTERESTED
IN AND WE DON'T GET IT. WE ARE JUST NOT INTERESTED SO WHY SHOULD YOU BE?
UNLESS THEY ARE NOT COMPLETELY EX???!
IF YOU TALK ABOUT AN EX ON A DATE WITH ME, DO NOT EXPECT TO BE INVITED OUT ON
ANOTHER. ALSO, IF YOU SLAG OFF SOMEONE YOU ONCE PRESUMABLY HAD FEELINGS
FOR, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES THAT YOU'LL DO THE SAME AGAIN WITH ME AT SOME
POINT DOWN THE LINE?!!

What is the most important factor when having a conversation with a man?

THERE ARE MANY. I'LL GIVE YOU TWO BIG ONES:-
ONE; IF YOU HAVE ASKED A QUESTION; DON'T INTERRUPT THE ANSWER!
TWO; LISTEN AND ACTUALLY HEAR THE WORDS. AVOID SUMMING UP THE
CONVERSATION WITH YOUR OWN INTERPRETATION; ALL THE MANS WORDS WERE
SPOKEN FOR A REASON. REMOVE SOME OF THE WORDS OR DISREGARD SOME OF THEM
AND YOU ACTUALLY CHANGE WHAT HE SAID. DO NOT DO IT!!

What makes a female attractive to a man?

DIFFERENT FROM MAN TO MAN. FOR SOME MEN IT IS A PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTE AND THEY
WILL PUT UP WITH THE REST. FOR OTHERS IT IS HER ABILITY TO COOK, MANAGE A
HOUSEHOLD AND CHILDREN ETC. HOW A WOMAN BEHAVES AND CONDUCTS HERSELF
IS WHAT DETERMINES MY LEVEL OF ATTRACTION, LOOKS ARE IMPORTANT BUT THEY
COME SECOND TO BEHAVIOUR AND CONDUCT.

Is make up on a woman a turn on or off?

TURN OFF. BIG MAJOR TURN OFF. OFF OFF OFF OFF. ITS YUKKY. PERFUME CAN BE A BIG
TURN ON, BUT BEING WELL GROOMED AND HEALTHY IS ALL THAT IS NECESSARY. MAKE
UP IS USUALLY USED TO ACHIEVE A LOOK THAT GOOD HEALTH PROVIDES ANYWAY.

Do men feel threatened by a woman with a more high powered job than them?

NO. THEY ARE MORE LIKELY TO BECOME ANNOYED AT SOMEONE ELSE'S COMMENT
ABOUT IT. IF THEIR GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE IS BETTER PAID OR HAS MORE STATUS IN HER
PROFESSION, MEN ARE MORE THREATENED BY WHAT OTHERS THINK OR SAY ABOUT
THEIR WOMAN HAVING A HIGH POWERED JOB THAN THEY ARE ABOUT THE JOB ITSELF.

IF THE WOMAN WITH THE HIGH POWERED JOB IS NOT THE MAN'S PARTNER, BUT IS HIS
BOSS, FOR EXAMPLE, THEN HE WILL ONLY BE THREATENED IF SHE ABUSES HER
POSITION OF AUTHORITY. IF SHE DOES THE JOB WELL, DOES NOT RUN ON ASSUMPTION
OR EMOTIONAL "KNOWING", DOESN'T HAVE HYSTERICAL HISSY FITS OR RUN OFF TO THE
DOCTOR FOR SOME "FEMALE" PROBLEM EVERY FIVE MINUTES, THEN THERE
SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM. MEN DO TEND TO NOT LIKE WORKING FOR WOMEN, BUT
THIS REALLY DOES DEPEND UPON THE WOMAN. IF SHE CAN DO THE JOB WELL, IF SHE
DOES NOT GOSSIP, IS NOT VINDICTIVE, DOES NOT ENTER INTO POWER GAMES ETC, THEN
ALL WILL BE WELL. MEN JUST DO NOT TRUST CHEMICAL INBALANCES AND HORMONES.

PROVE THAT YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF AND DO THE JOB AND YOU WON'T HAVE A
PROBLEM WITH MEN WHO WORK FOR YOU. IN FACT YOU WILL FIND A STRONG SUPPORT
NETWORK AND A WILLINGNESS TO DO MORE FOR YOU, STAND UP FOR YOU AND
ACHIEVE TARGETS FOR YOU - PROVIDING THAT YOU CAN DO THE JOB, REFRAIN FROM
PASSING COMMENTS AND ARE FAIR.

Do men really like sexy underwear?

NO. WOMEN LIKE SEXY UNDERWEAR. MEN THINK ITS A WASTE OF MONEY. THE MONEY
SHOULD HAVE BEEN SPENT ON A LARGE JOINT OF LAMB OR LOADS OF STEAK. BUYING
RED MEAT INSTEAD WILL HAVE A MUCH BETTER EFFECT.

If a female approaches a man and he is not interested how is she best to react and what
should she say?

SHE SHOULD SMILE AND THEN SAY SOMETHING LIKE "THAT'S A SHAME, I'D LIKE IT IF
YOU'D LET ME KNOW IF YOU EVER CHANGE YOUR MIND THOUGH!"
CHANCES ARE HE MIGHT CHANGE HIS MIND ON THE SPOT. COURAGE AND
FORTHRIGHTNESS ARE RESPECTED.

If a man approaches a female and she is not interested - what should she say?

SHE MUST SAY THESE WORDS; "THANK YOU, I AM FLATTERED, BUT NO I AM NOT
INTERESTED."
SHE SHOULD NOT FOB THE GUY OFF WITH AN EXCUSE - PARTICULARLY IF IT IS A LIE!
SHE MUST USE THE WORD 'NO'. THAT WORD MUST BE SPOKEN. HALF ASS ATTEMPTS AT
BEING NICE AND LETTING HIM DOWN GENTLY, HOWEVER WELL INTENTIONED, WILL JUST
FAIL. DO NOT BE AFRAID. USE THE WORD NO! NOTHING ELSE WILL WORK.

What is the best way to approach a guy that you fancy?

ONE ON ONE, WHEN THERE IS TIME TO TALK.
MAKE THE TIME, ARRANGE THE TIME, BUT DO IT SUCH THAT HE DOES NOT HAVE TO
DASH OFF TO ATTEND TO SOMETHING AS YOU ARE TRYING TO SPEAK.
TURN OFF YOUR MOBILE! TURN IT OFF. THEN STATE CLEARLY WHAT YOU WANT OR HOPE
FOR WHEN YOU HAVE HIS UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.
IN FACT, A GOOD OPENER IS TO ASK "CAN I HAVE YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION FOR A
FEW MINUTES PLEASE?" THEN TELL HIM THAT YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO HIM AND ASK
HIM IF HE WOULD BE INTERESTED IN SPENDING SOME TIME HAVING YOU GET TO KNOW
EACH OTHER A BIT BETTER?

You've been on a few dates with the guy you like - how do you keep him interested?

TELL HIM THAT YOU LIKE WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED ABOUT HIM SO FAR, THAT YOU
HAVE NOT SEEN AND WILL NOT BE SEEING ANYONE ELSE AND THAT YOU WOULD LIKE IT
VERY MUCH IF HE DIDN'T SEE ANYONE ELSE NOW EITHER.

How do you know when to trust a guy to know where you live?

WHEN YOU KNOW WHERE HE LIVES. WHEN YOU KNOW THAT HIS VEHICLE IS
REGISTERED TO HIM AND YOU HAVE THE DETAILS. WHEN YOU KNOW WHERE HE WORKS.
BASICALLY WHEN HE BECOMES A HUMAN BEING WHO CAN BE FOUND AND HELD
ACCOUNTABLE FOR HIS ACTIONS. WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE SAFE. NOT WHEN YOU
THINK OR BELIEVE YOU ARE - WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE.
BY THE WAY, THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I REGARD WOMEN. I INVITE THEM HOME ONLY WHEN I
KNOW I AM SAFE AND NOT BEFORE. WHO WANTS TO BE THE VICTIM OF AN UNTRUTHFUL
ACCUSATION?

Is it acceptable not to let a new guy know where you live straight away?

YES. IT'S STUPID TO DO OTHERWISE.

Are you single yourself, Rob?

YES I AM; I AM ACTUALLY A WIDOWER BUT I BEGAN DATING AGAIN TWO YEARS AGO. MY
INITIAL EXPERIENCES ARE WHAT PROMPTED THIS AND MY OTHER RELATIONSHIP
EBOOKS.

Thank you for talking with me today and I look forward to reading your ebook.

THANK YOU.

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